How is your self esteem? You notice I am not asking how your children’s self esteem is. You see if you have problems with self esteem then your children will also have problems with self esteem.
Life is a circle and we learn from our parents good and bad lessons, and then unless we learn different lessons in our lives we will pass those same lessons onto our children and then to their children.
We might want to blame the schools or society for the way our children are but most of the lessons they learn whether good or bad are learnt in the home.
If we have issues with self esteem and our weight problems then it shouldn’t be surprising if our children have the same problems. If you are watching every mouthful your eat saying I can’t eat this because I will become fat or if your whole self worth is based on how fat you are then don’t be surprised if your children think the same way.
If they have the attitude that I can be loved only when my body is a certain way then maybe you need to look at your attitude. Yes magazines portray a lot of images that children follow but many times all the magazine does is reinforce what they are hearing in the home.
Parents need to take responsibility for bringing up their children. Remember what you sow is what you reap. If you allow the children to rule the house then don’t be surprised if they don’t respond to you taking your authority in the home. If you have allowed the children to take the role of parents then they are not going to give that role back without a fight.
Your children are unique and they need to know who they are and why they were born. They need to understand that self esteem isn’t dependant on the weight they are or how good they do in school. They need to know that they are loved and accepted regardless of what they look like.
Children need to understand that they could face health problems relating to the weight but that regardless of size they are still beautiful children, they have intelligence even if it is less than you hoped it to be. They are accepted and trying to get them healthy is for their benefit and nothing to do with self esteem.
Children hate the words overweight and obese because they don’t totally understand what the words means but to them it is ugly and failure. Name calling will only cause your children to loss self esteem. Teach them good lessons so they can lose weight without losing self esteem. Encourage them in what they do, they might be good in an area then praise them. But don’t reward them with food. Children are crying out to be loved and many eat to fill that empty void, they want to be loved and accepted and have a good image about themselves.
Start to evaluate your own self esteem and see what lessons you have taught your children. Remember all lessons are taught whether good or bad and if they have no self esteem maybe they are following the parents lead who have no self esteem either.